Eu ...3

Eu 2

Eu ...1

Life...la la laaaaa

sick mom...crazy granny...people i thought i knew are strangers now...my life is a fucking stranger.going slightly on the edge of depression.i just need to go but i cant.it would upset so many people.i hate it...i always have to make my decisions thinking about the others.i just wanna go...i wanna be alone in my own darkness ,in my own idea about the world.
simt ca nu mai pot.simt ca tot ce fac e gresit.casnicia a fost o greseala,divortul e doar repararea ei.nu ma gasesc nicaieri.in orice relatie m-as intoarce e acelasi cacat.da ' cu alta aroma.i wish i knew the answers...why all this hate,all this uncertainty...i look at my hands and i see the hands who once used to wash the shit from his underwear...same hands that cooked him dinner...same hands that helped a good deepthroat become better...and i see theres no good in a woman to be all those for one man...i see myself in the dirt of his hate,in the dirt of what I stupidly believed it was love...there are no words to describe my pain...no place where I can go and hide from it...
i live and i die...every second of my existence...I dont feel a fucking thing...i simply cant...i cry without feelings...i only want answers to my questions...from anyone in my way...

25 baby! Hit me!

25 de ani! o viata de om,one might say...aproape in fiecare an de ziua mea am bocit.clipa ce-a fost si a ce va sa vie...anu asta,pentru ca divortez si n-am job,pentru ca mai am 5 bani in buzunar...pentru ca m-am pierdut , si pentru ca mi-am permis sa ma regasesc partial...ma simt bine.mi-e cam frig de la oboseala...mi-e o lene de nu ma vad nici aia din avion de ea...dar,im ok.nush de ce,ma simt impacata .cu mine,cu lumea,nu ma grabesc nicaieri.doar savurez viata.
am trait rapid,doar in liceu mi-am propus sa traiesc mult si intens ca asa tre sa fie un viitor scriitor...plin de experiente... si-am avut cacalau
continuare laterz ca mi-e lene

calc pe urme de morti
in zare n-am lumina
si-am okii morti si goi
caut neincetat ceva-ul
ce va sa vina.
ma-piedic de lume
prin carti
te visez in culori amare
si-mi spun ca tot tu esti.
din spate imi urla strabunii
sa ma ridic,
durerea e mare si surda
si urla in mine-un vartej
te scoala si du-te
caci altul nu vezi
merg pe strazi nefutute
pasesc mic si-ndesat
si-o voce-mi tot striga:
te du...si tot du-te
m-oi duce...da unde?
cararea mea n-are sens
valuri pustii ma darama
ma-ntreb:si maine la fel?
absurdul ma-ndreapta
ma-ndruma
ma pierd
ma duc
spre final

te-as...ne-am...

inversa-ti-as axa de rotatie si schimba-ti-as ora destinului
muta-ti-as ceasu' in sens invers...
omora-te-as in glume hidoase
ingropa-te-as in urnele arse ale dorintei
imprastia-te-as pe taramuri aride
uri-te-as cum nu-i uratul de urat
uni-ne-am in pierzare

Titlu

For one stupid mistake we lose all,never understanding what were given...we make a fool of ourselves and our lives trying to reach the greatest goal but never realising what were leaving behind.Somehow i'll learn to live without the "fluffy" thing,without all the good things i thought i had.There will be other things,new ,different...but things will never be the same...no more "ne vedem acasica"...no more cuddling...no more nothing...just the bitter taste of lie and betrayal...